Social and Emotional Issues of Gifted Students
Asynchronous Development – Students develop differently between intellectual, emotional, and physical capabilities. This can be a difficult adjustment for them to understand. Awareness and being open to talk to your child about this, as well as taking advantage of school counseling services would help with sorting this out.
Social Competence – Gifted students have a higher intellect than most of their peers. This can sometimes cause issues with connecting on a social level. They often find it easier to connect with older kids or adults, since they tend to have an advanced maturity level. Grouping like-aged gifted students in small groups, finding outside social groups, or an adult mentor may be ways to help.
Empathy and Emotional Sensitivity – Gifted students tend to have a strong sense of moral justice in the world. They can be highly empathetic towards others. They have a heightened awareness of things around them with keen observation skills. Their sensitivity, intensity and depth can sometimes cause hurt feelings. This may be where they need to vent and sort out feelings.
Overexcitabilities – Some gifted students have high energy levels. Their minds need continuous stimulation, so they are constantly looking for ways to occupy themselves. They have a need to explore their environment and world around them. Children may become dissatisfied with his/her pursuits and cause negative emotional reactions. The constant need for stimulation may become exhausting to those around him/her. This is when the child may need an adult to help with self-regulation strategies to maintain energies into a healthy balance.
Perfectionism – Many gifted students struggle with perfectionism. They set high unrealistic expectations on themselves and on others. This causes high stress and anxiety. They will obsess over minor mistakes, rather than celebrate major accomplishments.
Depression – It is common for gifted children to experience depression. Sometimes they perceive pressure from peers, teachers, and/or parents to perform at a higher level. The pressure can cause anxiety and depression if they fail. They also may feel “different” or that they don’t fit in intellectually with their peers. This may cause withdrawal and lead to depression.
Source: Hebert, T.P. (2011). Understanding the social and emotional lives of gifted students. Waco, TX: Prufrock Press.
Social Competence – Gifted students have a higher intellect than most of their peers. This can sometimes cause issues with connecting on a social level. They often find it easier to connect with older kids or adults, since they tend to have an advanced maturity level. Grouping like-aged gifted students in small groups, finding outside social groups, or an adult mentor may be ways to help.
Empathy and Emotional Sensitivity – Gifted students tend to have a strong sense of moral justice in the world. They can be highly empathetic towards others. They have a heightened awareness of things around them with keen observation skills. Their sensitivity, intensity and depth can sometimes cause hurt feelings. This may be where they need to vent and sort out feelings.
Overexcitabilities – Some gifted students have high energy levels. Their minds need continuous stimulation, so they are constantly looking for ways to occupy themselves. They have a need to explore their environment and world around them. Children may become dissatisfied with his/her pursuits and cause negative emotional reactions. The constant need for stimulation may become exhausting to those around him/her. This is when the child may need an adult to help with self-regulation strategies to maintain energies into a healthy balance.
Perfectionism – Many gifted students struggle with perfectionism. They set high unrealistic expectations on themselves and on others. This causes high stress and anxiety. They will obsess over minor mistakes, rather than celebrate major accomplishments.
Depression – It is common for gifted children to experience depression. Sometimes they perceive pressure from peers, teachers, and/or parents to perform at a higher level. The pressure can cause anxiety and depression if they fail. They also may feel “different” or that they don’t fit in intellectually with their peers. This may cause withdrawal and lead to depression.
Source: Hebert, T.P. (2011). Understanding the social and emotional lives of gifted students. Waco, TX: Prufrock Press.
Perfectionism:
Perfectionism can result in both positive and/or negative traits that you might notice in your gifted child. See some of the common traits listed below. Having a better understanding of their perspective may help you understand how to support them better.
Positive Traits:
•Put in higher effort •Often good leaders of teams •Inspire others to achieve more •Time & study management •Strong motivation to succeed •High organization and order |
Negative Traits:
•All or nothing thinking – anything less than perfect is failure. •Fear of failure may lead to underachievement or procrastination when the person encounters schoolwork that is too difficult for flawless work. •Some may feel a social pressure that social acceptance depends on perfect performance. •Mood swings – if goals are met, they are at a high. If everything isn’t perfect, they are at a low and become emotionally drained. •Do not experience pride in successes. Critiques performance and/or looks ahead at the next task that needs to be accomplished. •Worry Wart – Perpetually worried about what others will think about him/her. •Set unrealistic expectations on themselves, which often set them up for failure. •They may set high standards on themselves and others. Feeling disappointed when others don’t meet them. •May become a workaholic, working excessively to maintain a flawless record of high goals. •Does not take risks. Finds it difficult to be playful and enjoy the process. This inhibits creativity and innovation. •May focus on black-and-white rules, not taking any gray areas into consideration. •Avoids competition if they perceive they are not the best in the group. •May lead to depression, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and self-harm behaviors. |
Source: Rule, A.C. & Montgomery S.E. (2013). Using cartoons to teach about perfectionism: Supporting gifted students' social-emotional development. Gifted Child Today. 36(4), 255-263.
How can we help our kids with perfectionism?
•They need an adult to help guide them to set realistic goals for themselves.
•Help them appreciate their successes during the process, not the end product. For example, point out “I really like how you used the hook and descriptive language in the beginning of your essay. It drew the reader in. “ (Instead of “You are going to be a famous writer!”)
•Have them research or explore perfectionism and share how it relates to them. Encourage them to use an outlet to express themselves, whether it be through journal writing, cartoon drawings, creating videos, etc.
•Read biographies of gifted individuals
•Get involved in a community service project to facilitate social action
•Encourage mentorships
•Be patient – it’s not a quick “fix”. It will take some time of self-reflection and support to get to a healthy balance.
Casel -the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. Their mission is to help make evidence-based social and emotional learning (SEL) an integral part of education from preschool through high school. https://casel.org/
•Help them appreciate their successes during the process, not the end product. For example, point out “I really like how you used the hook and descriptive language in the beginning of your essay. It drew the reader in. “ (Instead of “You are going to be a famous writer!”)
•Have them research or explore perfectionism and share how it relates to them. Encourage them to use an outlet to express themselves, whether it be through journal writing, cartoon drawings, creating videos, etc.
•Read biographies of gifted individuals
•Get involved in a community service project to facilitate social action
•Encourage mentorships
•Be patient – it’s not a quick “fix”. It will take some time of self-reflection and support to get to a healthy balance.
Casel -the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. Their mission is to help make evidence-based social and emotional learning (SEL) an integral part of education from preschool through high school. https://casel.org/